Dating is an activity that has perplexed us for as long as men and women have had social relations with each other; although the practice of dating has evolved over the centuries and continues to be practiced differently across different cultures today, the same anxieties and uncertainties continue to plague us. Preparing for a date can drive us to distraction. What should I wear? What should we talk about? What kind of food does she like? How can I make sure that he likes me? If we get along, how long should I wait before calling again? Or should I wait for her to call me first? How do I know if there’s a real chance here? How do I keep from getting hurt?
There are no formulaic answers to these questions; every individual, every couple, every situation is different. But dating, at its most basic level, is simple and uncomplicated: two people decide to spend a little time together with the intention of enjoying one another’s company. Starting from that basic premise, the rest of the pieces should start to fall into place. If in fact you do enjoy each other’s company, it’s likely that you’ll see each other again, which may lead to romance and more.
The most important thing to remember about dating is to simply be natural; be yourself. Don’t create some kind of ideal persona for yourself; don’t put on an act. Your date will quickly see through your act. Of course, there are modes of behavior that can make or break a date; we all have different moods, so focus on showing off your best sides. If you have an abrasive sense of humor, tone it down for your first few dates. If you’re having a horrible time at your job, don’t linger over the topic during your date. You want your date, particularly a first date, to be an upbeat, positive experience; you don’t want your dating partner to think you’re a downer. If your life is full of worries, put those worries aside during your date, and immerse yourself in getting to know this new person. He or she may end up being the one who helps you through your worries.
If a date leads to a longstanding romance, even a marriage, in our later years we remember the early dates as though they had occurred only yesterday. There are no special tricks in making your first date memorable. However, with this website, we hope to offer some general tips to daters to help make the experience go more smoothly. The general advice offered here can apply to daters of all ages, of all types — whether teenagers or retired seniors, men or women, traditional or same-sex, no matter where in the world you happen to live and work. Certain articles will apply to specific segments of the dating population.
If we begin with the assumption that all of us, men and women alike, are basically looking for the same thing — a very human and loving connection with another person that is intimate on many levels, that provides us with support and that offers us an opportunity to support another person in turn — then dating becomes a less daunting task. There is no “competition” in dating; there is no such thing as a conquest. Thinking in terms of conquest during a date is not dating at all; it’s an exercise in vanity. We hope, with this website, to help readers look at dating from new, fresh angles, and to find success.
